Even before their corporations and political offices, the Evil Wardens’ most prized possession is the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius, regarded as history’s most powerful collection of arcane lore. Between its human-flesh-bound covers, the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius bears thousands of carefully inscribed incantations inked in human blood, scribed in varying dialects of Egyptian, Aztec, Mayan, and Lemurian influence. The book contains prophecies, glyphs, sigils, numerous secrets to the cosmos, and mention of some hideous, forbidden, profane, unfathomable, world-devouring evil mentioned in the pages, only about a hundred or so times. The lack of concern about this “unknown evil” on the part of the Wardens is a unique experience in dread. “We read about nuclear bombs in other books all the time; they can blow up the world, and we’re still here...!” quoted AMPUTHEATRE’s press secretary.

Ages ago, the four Great Civilizations were locked in desperate war with the city of Atlantis. The Atlanteans were vicious, man-eating humanoid fish (Xenichthys horribilis) as well as masters of science and technology. Rumors abounded that the city of Atlantis itself could travel beneath the waves- easily able to unleash legions of Xenichthys warriors upon each of the civilizations. To stop the evil Atlanteans from making the human race into cattle, the Egyptians, the Mayans, the Aztecs, and the Lemurians formed an alliance- The Surface World- and gathered their greatest scribes and sorcerors to contribute their greatest and most powerful incantations into an unbeatable weapon- a spell book of ultimate power, with which to decimate the ravenous Atlantean legions.

Though a clear ally in the battle against the sea, the Lemurians were viewed with suspicion by the other three factions. Lemuria was populated by otherworldly, reptilian beings with strikingly colorful crests. Thus, the Lemurians were the only non-human civilization in the Surface World. Complicating matters were the accusations from Y’Shakaa, the xenophobic leader of the Lemurian Warrior Caste. He was adamant in his feelings that humans were weak, and that they would succumb to the powers within such a book. His objections, however, were overruled by both the Lemurian High Council and the Lemurian Religious Caste, and the penning of the Arcanuum began..

Twenty years later, Y’Shakaa would prove to be right.

Upon first mention of completion of the book, The Surface World leaders arrived to a temple dribbling blood from its entrances. The Aztec priest Zuhochtlotl was brutally slaying the rest of the scribes of the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius. Once the book was completed, Zuhochtlotl would use its power to consume the earth in flame for his Sun God, Tezcatlipoca. An incredible struggle of both magic and steel saw the book wrenched from Zuhochtlotl’s treacherous grip, and his banishment into the realm of Limbo.

The Lemurians were outraged that their most revered scholars were slain out of human weakness. In a council meeting, Y’Shakaa convinced his fellow Lemurians that once the Atlanteans were driven extinct, the humans would destroy them next. A lack of evidence did not prevent him from citing that Zuhochtlotl slew their people first during his massacre. With this hateful platform, Y’Shakaa became Monarch of Lemuria, and he declared war on the Mayans, the Aztecs, and the Egyptians simultaneously.

But Y’Shakaa, in his rage, spread his forces too thin. Despite their sorcerous command over cold and ice, the Lemurians' powers were diminished in the hot, tropical homelands of their enemies, and they were likewise unprepared for the guerilla warfare the Mayans and the Aztecs would adopt. Y’Shakaa himself would be dealt an embarrassing defeat with his attack upon Egypt- routed by the forces of Thutmose I's greatest general, Ankhmotep.

Upon returning to Lemuria to regroup, Y’Shakaa realized that the Atlanteans had attacked and destroyed his once proud home in a sneak attack. With Lemuria now overrun with Xenichthys warriors, Y'Shakaa realized his war would not be won this day. Once he made his escape, the Lemurian priest summoned his sorcerous influence over the winter winds, and froze himself- entering a state of suspended animation, dooming the rest of his race to genocide.

The three remaining civilizations then used the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius to destroy Atlantis and bury it forever beneath the waves. The destruction of the city was total, and the Xenichthys race was for all practical puposes rendered extinct as an army. The last living scribes then tore the spell book along its spine, divvying it up into one section per scribe. The books were then all sealed into tombs with the scribes themselves, so as to not duplicate this gathering of power again. It is rumored that out of the agony of being buried alive, some scribes were compelled to write additional spells to the tomes- terrible ones that would invoke indiscriminate death and pain upon the earth.

Thousands of years passed.

In 1807, a fragment of the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius was discovered during an expedition of a Sumerian tomb. The archaeologist was pleased to discover a map within the text, which led towards another burial site outside of Egypt. What he found interesting was that there was no impression of a pen on the back of the map’s pages, nor brush strokes- as if the book somehow wrote the map itself in an attempt to once again become whole.

This led to further expeditions, and by 1938 the book was perhaps 75% completed. The advent of World War II- and Adolf Hitler’s fascination with the occult- would see the Arcanuum safely hidden away in the vaults of Crowley University in the United States. And forgotten. The knowledge of a handful of scholars, regarding the foreboding powers of the book, was completely overshadowed by the knowledge of the rest of the world- over the destructive powers of nuclear warfare.

Nearly 100 years later, an expedition to a Mayan burial site- funded by politicians within the Evil Wardens' cabal- has recovered the last section of the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriuus. The Wardens then collected their existing manuscript from the vault of CU. Shy of a few dozen pages, the book is complete. Occult experts within the Wardens have already used the book incantations to great effect, most notably summoning demons with which to engage the Slashers within. Often the Evil Wardens will toss photocopies of spells into the arena for the Slashers to use. Often times they still have no idea of what any spell will actually do. (After all, they’re already testing medical science and regenerative properties on them already, so at that point it’s kind of moot to complain about anything else.) Earmarking those spells that seem to have the coolest-appearing runes, the Wardens note which spells have been cast by what AMPUTHEATRE Slasher- all in the name of global conquest.

The Wardens, however, realize that they play with fire. Aside from the prospect of the destructive powers within the book blithely doled out to sinister serial killers, the Arcanuum Ex Mysteriius is also sought by evil beings from beyond our earth as we know it. A live Xenichthys has already been recovered from expeditions with the Pacific. It is even rumored that Y’Shakaa has somehow awakened from his cryonic tomb, and is plotting in secret to reclaim the book from humanity’s unworthy grasp- in an effort to undo the mistakes he made so many years ago.

“Feh”, mutter the Wardens. “Let them come. It can only lead to awesome battles in the AMPUTHEATRE.”