“YOU HAVE ALL BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF ATROCITIES AGAINST THE PEOPLE, SOCIETY, AND LIVELIHOOD OF THE UNITED STATES. YOU WILL BATTLE EACH OTHER IN THE AMPUTHEATRE TO THE VIOLENT AND BLOODY DEATH. ALL OF YOU WILL FIGHT; ONE OF YOU WILL LEAVE- WITH A FULL GOVERNMENT PARDON FOR ALL OF YOUR PAST TRANSGRESSIONS. MUTILATE AND DISEMBOWEL FOR YOUR FREEDOM, OR FESTER AND DECOMPOSE LIKE YOUR MURDERS OF PAST INNOCENTS. SHOW NO QUARTER, LEST YOU BE DRAWN AND QUARTERED."

"THE BATTLE WILL BEGIN AS SOON AS THIS SEVERED HEAD HITS THE FLOOR..."

"...Tonight's Severed Head is Ralphie Wayne Jackson: convicted murderer, child molester, and First To Die in last week's AMPUTHEATRE telecast, at 00:03:42, by Gnash...!"

(squish)...

AMPUTHEATRE is the apex of reality television and the last word in capital punishment. During the ever-grislier testing of the Amputech upon Correctional Facility Alpha's prisoners, The Evil Wardens mentioned to their superiors in The FoURTH (Federation of Ultimate Regency, Totalitarianism and Hierarchy) that the battles between inmates "...would make great TV." The FoURTH drooled at the possibilities. At this point, executions had already been televised. Upon hearing of the AMPUTHEATRE project, many champions of the death penalty argued that murderers suffering the tortures from other murderers would be far more fitting than a mere injection or electric chair. By forcing convicted death-row criminals ("Slashers") against each other in gladiatorial combat, AMPUTHEATRE’s network executives have attained ratings at never-before-reached peaks in the annals of television.

The AMPUTHEATRE battleground- the Arena- is surrounded by a twenty-foot-high wall with a live studio audience. The audience is encouraged to bring various Weapons to the events, and toss them to the Slashers to spice up the battle. For the utmost brutality quotient, the Evil Wardens created a devious rule towards Weapon-bringing: only contribute that which is not primarily designed to kill someone. Thus, swords and guns are not allowed in the arena (except when the Slashers themselves smuggle them in) but straight razors, chainsaws, and ice picks are.

The controversy that AMPUTHEATRE generates is legendary. Numerous parental groups have petitioned against the show- frightened by its possible influence on children. But it only got worse from there. Out of a need to see the world's most fiendish criminals dead- whether out of justice, or the sheer need to know "Who Could Defeat Who"- brought a world-wide manhunt for the world’s most evil people. No criminal could evade such a fervored manhunt by the CFA authorities and AMPUTHEATRE’S fanatic fan base. Once word got out that someone committed a heinous crime, that person would sooner or later be AMPUTHEATRE's next lucky contestant.

But the country's crime rate- originally believed to drop dramatically- would merely hover at a constant level, as lawless vigilantism exploded throughout the country. Worse, the Slashers themselves became celebrities and idols to the clueless television audiences at home. A few Slashers have been known to receive love letters and marriage proposals, and many more innocents have died at the hands of fans, emulating the murder techniques of their "heroes". The icing on the cake was a promotion for AMPUTHEATRE to become a nationally recognized sport. Since the show's first airing, more than one athlete has taken a life- solely for the chance to kill Slashers and prove themselves the toughest of the tough.

Facing untold numbers of human rights violations (regarding those Slashers that happen to be human) the Evil Wardens insist (and enforce, once in a while) that only the most incorrigible, sadistic, and irredeemable criminals are eligible for AMPUTHEATRE combat. The aforementioned reward of a full government pardon towards AMPUTHEATRE's sole survivor also helps assure that the Slashers never band together into an unkillable army against the Evil Wardens- as well as a few Slashers safely under the Evil Wardens' employ.

The most severe blow to the Wardens was the Allergy Scandal. When the Slasher known as Deathwish proved allergic to the Amputech- and was torn to ribbons while in a state of helplessness- the ensuing lawsuits almost destroyed the AMPUTHEATRE project forever. The Vatican offered their services and funding- in exchange for cooperation. Another sponsor was Mandible Incorporated: America's #1 name in food processing... and later, capital punishment. Wishing to begin both a weapons and robotics division, Mandible Inc. reconstructed Deathwish's body- on the grounds that they could submit devastating torture devices to the AMPUTHEATRE arenas- all based on the blueprints for their food processors. The funding from both organizations kept AMPUTHEATRE alive.

Other scandals would plague the Evil Wardens. The celebrity and fighting prowess of many a Slasher, however, has usually led to the Evil Wardens' covertly recapturing the winner of any given Slasher, so they can compete again and keep the television ratings high. This was discovered in Correctional Facility Alpha's Assassingate Scandal, where Slashers were actually rubbed out if they resisted re-entry in the AMPUTHEATRE games. Ghastliest of all was Angelgate. At Tyburn Maximum Security Prison, one of the Evil Wardens themselves- Anastassia Varga- was discovered forging criminal records so as to make competitors out of innocent people. Further investigation uncovered Varga's horrific experiments upon her charges, in an attempt to create superbeings.

The final threats to the AMPUTHEATRE project are the Slashers At Large- those AMPUTHEATRE competitors that serve time in no prison, but for whatever reason are drawn towards their conflicts. Of all the Slashers At Large, the savage aberration Crucifiend is the most notorious and bloodthirsty- and he is said to be the only Slasher the Evil Wardens inherently fear.

Despite these setbacks, the AMPUTHEATRE television show is consistently the #1 television program year after year. As the combats get bloodier, the ratings get higher. And the general public, all but forgetting that Amputech was originally made to benefit mankind- not to create combat-ready killing machines- looks forward each week to the next gory battle.