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THE WORLD'S GORIEST BOARD GAME TM
 

 

 

FREQUENTLY AXED QUESTIONS:
AMPUTHEATRE

How did you get the idea to make AMPUTHEATRE?
In 1998, I was one of those Playstation One owners who was eagerly anticipating the game Thrill Kill from Virgin Entertainment. It was a four-player fighting game with evil characters and gallons of blood. Then Electronic Arts bought out Virgin like what; ten minutes before Thrill Kill was to be released to the public. EA saw TK and told the world: Art thou high? This game is disgusting; we aren't releasing this. We have a family image to maintain. Go away.

Creating AMPUTHEATRE was my revenge.

Why do you use action figures for AMPUTHEATRE and not miniatures?
Because AMPUTHEATRE is partly based on fighting video games, and the characters in those games fill your field of vision. The other part of AMPUTHEATRE is based on splatter movies, which is all about bringing the camera waaaaaaaaaay in close as to best focus on the acts of bloody violence.

...Interestingly, for the record, AMPUTHEATRE figures tower over most miniatures, while the battlefields required for miniatures gaming often dwarf those of AMPUTHEATRE's.

Must this game be so violent?
But it's silly violence. Pools of blood tend to fly ninety feet off into the distance whenever you kick someone in the stomach in this game. Chris Pallace calls AMPUTHEATRE "a gore film starring The Three Stooges" and he's right. Some people have also told me how much they hate horror films, but love playing AMPUTHEATRE.

Consider also that- as explained in the game's Premise- everyone fighting in the arena is some form of remorseless killer. No innocent people ever get harmed in any game of AMPUTHEATRE. We hope that helps to lessen the shock.

What is the use of all the blood on the board?
The blood is how the Slashers heal from combat. Any Slasher beginning their Action on a Blood Pool can restore health to their life bar.

Will (Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Charles Manson, or any other real-life murderer) be playable characters in AMPUTHEATRE?
FUCK no.

Sorry about that but just so you all know, I'm not in the practice of glorifying true-life scumbags with artwork, and frankly I'd rather not sit at the gaming table to one day sit across from one of their victims' family members. Only fictional characters comprise the world of AMPUTHEATRE.

When is this game going to go national?
Well, I've got a rule book available right now...

 

GAMEPLAY QUESTIONS

Why does this game have so many rules?
Okay. If you aren't used to the hobby of gaming, a 48-page rulebook is intimidating. I wanted to create the most in-depth game I could. AMPUTHEATRE does however have both a Quick-Start Guide and its Combat engine in the back of its rulebook.

But the heft of the rulebook is insignificant compared to how quickly you can pick up the game. Try this: choose a Slasher and listen as we explain the Slasher sheet to you. In two or three turns you'll be killing and cackling with evil glee in no time. Once the game is over, pick up the rulebook at your leisure and use its secrets within to improve your game.

Who is the best Slasher to play in AMPUTHEATRE?
No one. The Slashers are all somehow equivalent in combative ability. What one gives up in, say, speed will be compensated in their stamina. Some Slashers will have a rougher time against others, yes- but they can always grab a Weapon and even the odds. And anyway, the AMPUTHEATRE arena itself is so unpredictable that it's foolish to expect to survive.

I'm playing this Slasher, and they suck. Why is that?
Because odds are that you're not playing them properly. See above.

At the convention I saw you at, you called some Slashers "Bosses". Are those Slashers stronger than normal?
Not at all. They die just as quickly (if not more so) as the Slashers we let you guys play. They're only called "bosses" because we keep those guys out of the roster at the conventions. They're reserved for the real Evil Wardens (AMPUTHEATRE's game designers, artists, and executive play testers) who have to sit at the game table in excess of six hours and may need a large pallette of Slashers from which to choose. (Which is a benefit to them, since you con-goers seem given to pile on us veterans. :P )

What is the "Rally Action"?
The Rally Action occurs at the end of the turn and grants all Slashers in the arena one defensive act to rally and return to the fight. Examples include absorbing Blood Pools for health, Grafting Sundered Limbs, pulling out an item that is Stabbing your Slasher, or Rising from the ground. Some Slashers even have Evil Deeds that can be performed during the Free Action.

Slashers can neither perform Attacks nor (except while Rising) Move during the Rally Action.

How do Onslaughts work?
Onslaughts let you punish a single Slasher with a prolonged, combination attack. These bypass the turn order and grant special bonuses to the game's regular Attacks. The most common way to earn an Onslaught is to score at least two hits with a Whupping- or better yet, if your opponent fails to block it.

Every Slasher gets at least two Actions in a turn. Let's say that of Actions A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and H, you get to act on Actions C and G. If you score an Onslaught on Action C, you can immediately use your second Action before the player with Action D can go. You just turn in the G card, and don't act after the player with Action F gets to go. If you score an Onslaught on Action G, you can use your complimentary Rally Action to attack instead.

The only condition to an Onslaught is that you have to keep attacking the Slasher you already hit.

This Weapon I found has Attacks on its card, but what Reversals do they target?
What Reversal Roll do you want it to target? Weapons let you decide whether your opponent Counters or Dodges. Look at their Bloodcount and decide.

My Slasher lost their arm. Can I Graft a new arm, or any arm back onto them?
Yep- so long as it's a left arm to left shoulder, or right arm to right shoulder.

Can my Slasher chop off their own arm so they can Graft that one really cool arm over there?
I get asked that a lot. YeahNO.

Do I have to spend my Action to (shake off a Stun / Escape from a Hold / run randomly)?
Yes. Yes, you do.

 

CHENILLE MACABRE AND ARTISTIC QUESTIONS

Who made all those figures?
(raises hand)

You did? Really?
(nods)

What are they made from?
Every figure is built from a chenille stem base (pipe cleaners). Acrylic paint, markers, and fabric finish the job, and whatever found objects I can add the figure is also included. Saw blades, fish hooks, chicken bones... the evil, evil list goes on.

How long does it take you to make a figure?
Anywhere from thirty minutes to a full day. AMPUTHEATRE Slashers require between three and six hours of work. Crucifiend took twelve hours.

Can you make me a figure?
Certainly. Check out the sister website Chenille Macabre. There's also information right here. Feel free to contact me at gil@chenillemacabre.com and we can discuss what your figure will look like, how much it will cost, etc.

Can you make a [fictional character] figure? I'd really like to see what it would look like.
Sure. If you buy it. If not... well, keep hitting the "Refresh" button on your browser and maybe our personal tastes will intersect. I like being paid for what I do, y'know? And hey- you'd even get to keep the figure!

Will you be making pipe cleaner AMPUTHEATRE figures when you mass produce the game?
I always I wouldn't because I thought it would be insane. Then I remembered that I am insane. So until we mass produce plastic pieces, you can buy AMPUTHEATRE figures here.

Do different figures of the same AMPUTHEATRE Slasher have different powers and abilities from one another?
No. Because I handmake every figure, the ruling is that cosmetic changes to the outfits and colors of Slashers are merely different costumes- nothing more. A Trigger Treat figure wearing overalls plays exactly the same as one wearing a canvas skirt.

Are the AMPUTHEATRE figures I bought from you smaller than the ones you take to conventions and feature on the site?
Yes. The reason for this is to make them more affordable to the public. Smaller figures take less materials and time to build- which is kinder on your pocketbook and gentler on my work schedule.

Why are the women in your game dressed like sluts?
...Oh, you mean "Why do some of the women in AMPUTHEATRE wear next to no clothes"? The primary reason is that parents don't get it. I can't tell you the amount of times that parents have left their not-yet-ten year olds at my convention tables because my game is made of pipe cleaners and felt; awwwwwwwwwww. During the ten years of this game's development, I've had one- precisely one- parent yank her kid away from our gaming table the second I told her what was going on. This is the era of South Park, people- just because the media may be child-friendly doesn't mean that the subject matter will be. Regardless of anything Bill O'Reilly might think.

AMPUTHEATRE is a mature game for mature players. A board covered in pools of blood and the dismembered arms and heads of serial killers apparently wasn't getting that fact across. But apparently a pair of tan mounds topped with red dots speaks volumes.

And honestly, it's not like I'm running rampant with the nudity, is it...? If it suits the character, then I'll certainly make them topless. Mandibula is a succubus, so of course she'll dress provocatively. Oubliette is naked except for shifting shadow, so sure there'll be a nipple or two. And anyway, I refuse to go the Soulcalibur route and see just how close to the pink bits the clothing on my characters can get while keeping them hidden. I find that it just becomes dishonest and frankly idiotic after a while. Show porn if you're gonna show porn.

What's odd is that I don't hear many comments on the scantily-clad men in the game. I have a fair amount of topless guys wearing short skirts in this game. Wretchedness wears a belt cloth slit up to the hips. That slut.

I really like your characters. Can I use them in a story if I give you credit for creating them?
Um... no. I did that once, and in all honesty I thought the end results were fucking terrible. Now there's shit up on the net that I had no control over, and yet I (indirectly) had a hand in. Never again.

I'm flattered that you like them and it was noble of you to ask for my permission, but these are my characters. And won't you feel sheepish towards those who love your work? You'll begrudgingly need to correct all the praise your story gets with "Well, I didn't actually invent the characters." That's the cue for Hollywood producers to yell "NEXT!" into the waiting room.

Just create your own characters. It's a lot more fun and rewarding, and I know you have it in you.

Are these figures toys?
No. I do NOT consider my work to be "toys". That's not borne out of some egotistical, artistic pretention; it's good old-fashioned Cover Your Ass at work. My monsters are made from wire which often has sharp points, and on occasion they're carrying even sharper things. None of my creatures ever meet any sort of consumer advocacy board, and for good reason; they'd fail every time. And all I'd need to wreck my entire career is for one child to swallow one of these "toys".

So no, these are NOT what parents normally regard as "toys". Chenille Macabre speciailizes in one-of-a-kind collector's items for the mature consumer.

 

QUESTIONS FOR THE GIL-MONSTER THAT CRUCIFIEND WILL ANSWER

Wow, do you have a lot of free time, or oh my GOD what ARE you what's WRONG WITH YOUR HANDS STAY BACK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why don't you exclusively use pipe cleaners in your work? You see, I also make pipe cleaner sculpture and I think it's important to ONLY use his BREATH it's like ROTTING FLESH OH CHRIST IN HEAVEN IT'S REACHING FOR ME YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

I am interested in the immediate purchase of your item and will be make payment via cashier check/money order. My private shipping company will handle the shipping by picking up the item from you, but before payment will be made, I need to be sure of who I am dealing with if you are going to be honest and sincere throughout the transaction. A certified cashiers check is cashable the same day, however there is going to be an excess fund on the check. The excess fund is meant for the private shipping company who will come to your place for pick up of the item, so shipping is not a problem. Will you be able to transfer the excess fund to the shipping company the same day you receive the check? The check would be sent to you, so when you get payment you can easily cash it or deposit in your bank. You'll be sending the excess funds to my shipper as per the arrangement. If you agree, signify your interest by forwarding to me your Final Asking Price, full name, address and telephone number. I had some trouble with my Etsy account, so would you please kindly MY GENITALS HOLY FUCK IT FUCKING BIT OFF MY FUCKING GENITALS HOLY FUCK IT'S EATING ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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